10 Things I Hate About Julia Stiles
In an attempt to procrastinate a 12-page research paper that is due tomorrow, I have been inspired to write a new blog (Seeing as I have already shopped for digital cameras on overstock.com, IMed, checked my email, eaten an oreo and located my lost phone under a pile of clothes in my bedroom). Throughout my entire education I have detested writing research papers. It takes me forever. Its not the research that I hate, its the writing. I hate describing music with words. Its so annoying. I really suck at it. In fact I think I have only received one A on a paper in all my years of higher education, and it was really a gift from God not because of any skill on my behalf. Perhaps my teachers were feeling sorry for me at that point, I really don't know...
As much as I hate research papers, there is something I hate much much much more...or should I say someone...
Her name... I hate to even type it because an ugly scowl as come across my face and I'm sure I look very mean right now...
is Julia Stiles.
bleh.
double bleh
bleh with a little bleh on the side and then some bleh for dessert.
WHY IS SHE FAMOUS???!!!!
Here is a small list of reasons why I think Julia Stiles should not be famous:
1)The one that comes searing into my mind with bells and whistles attached is "SHE CAN'T ACT!!!" If anyone has ever seen her movies they will agree with me that she plays the same blah character in every movie despite her different roles. She is always this bratty white girl with a too-cool-for school attitude even if her character is not supposed to be that way.
2)She has no charisma. She is so blah on screen, she bores me. Even in romantic comedies where she is supposed to be charming in some way, so a hot guy will fall for her, she is totally unbelievable. I am always embarrassed for the guy that has to pretend to like her in some way because she is totally unlikable.
3)She can't dance. Anyone who has seen Save the Last Dance can agree with me. She all of a sudden can sway back in forth to a hip hop beat and now she is an honorary black girl in the hood and can get into Julliard? Totally unbelievable. P.S. she has buffalo legs. I almost threw up every time they zoomed in on her feet dancing. (For a real dance movie please watch Centerstage. Despite the poor acting, these people can actually dance and Charlie is a adorable)
4)I'm not done with the bad dancing comment. The other day I rented the Prince and Me (I think I was feeling a little self-masocistic or something). There is a scene in which Julia is cleaning up the restaurant where she and the prince of Denmark work and she takes off her shoes (Buffalo Legs Part 2: again the vomit was close) and is dancing along to some song while she cleans. Said Prince is watching and somehow despite B.L. and horrendous dancing falls inlove with her and takes her back to be queen of Denmark. Not only do I feel bad for the kind people of Denmark, but for myself that I have wasted precious time (time that should be used to write research papers) watching the disaster of Julia Stiles dancing with her eyes closed.
5)The Bourne Identity. Why is she in this movie? The only reason my eyes should ever be ripped away from Matt Damon is for treats or other attractive men, not J.S. looking very dowdy and uttering meaningless lines in a blah manner.
6)I hate to say it but...she is super unattractive. I know that this is a low blow, but she has a super round head, flat face and we are all thinking it...the weirdest smile know to man. It is all lopsided and squinty. She does have a hot body, I will give her that...
7)Did I mention Save the Last Dance?
8)Her voice is slightly lesbian-ish. No offense to lesbians, in fact I'm sorry that they have to be associated with Julia Styles in any way.
9)She is coming out with a new movie called Carolina where she plays a character named Carolina. Up until this point my sister, who shares a similar hatred for J.S.(her hatred is not as intense as mine because she is nicer than me), wanted to name one of her daughters Carolina, but now will be forced to abandon the cute name. It will always be tainted now. Thanks a lot Julia!
I hope that in some small way I have hurt the career of Julia Stiles, or at least shed some negative light on it. If I have done even a small bit of bad than my work here is done. I fear however that my work on my research paper is just beginning...maybe I will go eat another oreo...mmmm.
posted by Angela @ 9:20 AM
45 comments
45 Comments:
Coming up next, Meg Ryan!! I think that Julia Stiles is the next Meg Ryan. Praise you for bringing our attention to her buffalo dancing legs. And I don't mean Buffalo in a clever hip hop way. I mean she is like the large hairy animal that eats grass and lives on the prarie. Suck it Julia!!
I was about to check your blog and I thought, "No, Ang wouldn't have posted, she was writing that massive paper." Then I thought better and realized that of course you would have a new post... procrastination makes everything else that needs to get done, get done faster. Hoorah for procrastination.
As for Julia... I am always amazed by her famousness due to her smile/teeth.
You'll be pleased to know that there is a Prince & Me: 2 where Julia's character returns, but is played be a different actress. Which is good. Especially because I hate movies (ie: The Princess Diaries vs. The Princess Diaries 2) where they try to convince you all of movie one for her to hook up with one guy, and then in the 2nd movie 2, he's mentioned in passing and you have to start cheering for a new guy. Argh.
As a side note... my daughter just said, "I wope my bum." What great conjugation of a verb.
Interestingly, I had a one-sided conversation with my mom the other night where she went on about how she liked J.S. I think the fact that she was in "10 Things" with Heath Ledger is what gets her roles. She was okay in that movie, infact. However, she acts like Kat in all her movies. Angry, confused middle-class girl who somehow gets the good looking guy dispite her feminist rudities. I must agree with you on the "Bourne" comment. We should never have to take our eyes off Matt Damon. Quirky smile is much better on him than on J.S. Why the heck was she even in those movies? She so could have been cut and we wouldn't have missed a thing. I can't believe they're making a Prince & Me 2, even if it's a different girl. Lamest movie I ever saw (my sister's ex-boyfriend said he like it and wouldn't mind seeing it again; afterwards I thought to myself, "Sister, you need to dump this guy. Luckily, about 3 weeks later they broke up).
Oh my lord allmighty! How extremely timely is this blog. I actually have always been a fan of Julia's, hoping she would one day attain the height of her glory from "10 things..." However, a couple of friends and I made the horrid mistake of sitting down in a movie theatre showing the extremely pontificated dark child of satan movie, "Omen." Let's just say now, I find myself peeing my pants at your blog and farting on the memory that once was the wonderful J.S.
um...ang? i think you only listed nine.
i bet julia can count to ten.
I was hoping no one would notice...Number 10 is refer to any of the above. I actually just met a girl who randomly told me one day that she thinks Julia Stiles is the most beautiful actress in Hollywood. I first fell out of my chair and then had to evaluate her sanity. It was totally unreal!
Just so you know, The Prince & Me 2... sucked, even with Julia Stiles replaced.
Hey, I kind of like Julia Stiles. She's not a good actress, but she seems like she would be a fun person to hang out with.
Also, that "nklm" lady needs to teach her kids how to conjugate verbs. Seriously.
Oh, remember the good ole days when Ang's blog was the funniest around. Man... I miss those days. :)
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whatever i read in this blog,,i still love julia stiles..she may not be beautiful like other hollywood stars,yes i agree she's not that beautiful, but for me, i love the way she acts..she's not trying hard unlike those pretty actresses who are trying their hard but in the end they're like over acting..plus, plus, plus,she's so SMART..having a brain totally helps u're character..The Prince and me is the best of all the versions..the sequels suck!!..
Hey. Anyone knows whose legs were used 2 give Julia Stiles a better structure while filming bourne identity. I've bn trying 2 find out with no luck so far but I'm sure they hve used someone else's legs.
I think people can hate actors and actresses all they want but that will never change the fact that they're the ones who are famous and we're the ones whose names are unknown.
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Julia Stiles smile looks like the grill of a 1963 Austin Healy,!! LMAO
I wonder why anyone with such an obvious loathing for any individual would waste any time at all on searching for, renting, and watching movies of, then endlessly complaining about said individual. I have heard it said that no publicity is bad publicity, i.e...Paris Hilton. That being said, it would seem reasonable to assume that the action taken would be less effective than some other action. Such as total and complete avoidance. Although I do see the therapeutic properties of procrastination and avoidance of the writing of a paper. A task which I also find overwhelming and rather unappealing, at best. Anyway, just a thought from no one in Nowhereville, USA. HAPPY HECKLING!! ;)
to: ARDBALLIN, in answer to your query.. some people with children have to sit through whatever movie the kids bring home and that involves actors and actresses that the adults don't like.
I think you're jealous. She's rich and famous and you have a BLOG.
i knew it was only time until somebody said "yeah, but she makes a lot more money than you do". and now this "missy" girl says that you're jealous and you suck because julia styles is rich and famous, and all you have is a blog. as if that's all you have. what if it was all you had? would that make you less a person? i loved your blog. it was funny and entertaining.
I googled "juilia stiles bad actress" while i was watching bourne ultimatum and found your blog about Julia Stiles' bad acting.
I completely agree she is one of the worst actresses of all time.
You mad.
Unless this catty little "wahhhh, a talented, pretty actress who's doing better than me" Mean Girls' burn book page from Internet Nobody #3 million is just you trolling, in which I have to say, successful troll is successful.
As much as I hate when the words jealous/insecure are thrown around, I can't not point out when they actually seem to apply, like here. I mean this screams defensive and caring too much WAY too loudly to not be.
wow, of all the unlikable, untalented, unattractive stars to hate on (COUGH Jennifer Lawrence, ScarJo, Anne Hathaway) you chose probably the most underrated and one of the few truly good ones. I mean, Julia gets crapped on and you still wanna kick her down? Pretty petty, like a puppy-kicker.
Also, STLD2 sucked. Why the frick would you guys NOT want Julia to be in it if you hate her so much?
and NKLM... uh... what you smokin' there? Been hitting up the OP's bong a few too many times?
Hate julie so much....never watch a movie with her....only an exception was - Dexter. Who ever came with an idea to give her that role. Every time I see her on TV i want to throw up. Really, this is how it is.
Oh wow... I know why you don't get A's on your paper.
"Charlie is a adorable"
^^ Uh what?
I have to agree with you about Julia Stiles though.
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You're lame and jealous.. so let me tell you just this jelly jelly jelly xD
Thank you. I missed an entire season of Dexter because I couldn't look at the ugly bitch. It makes me mad when I have to look at her ugly face and body on those Wigs commercials. Yuck!
I collect Julia's films. I love her no nonsense approach to everyone and her quirky smile.
This is really mean and insensitive. She's a human being! You hope you hurt her career? Wow, you're a sicko.
I disagree. She's classy, talented, wonderful to watch, and darn beautiful. I think she's somewhat typecast but maybe in a few years she'll break out of it with more challenging roles to prove you wrong.
I really hope she never reads your cruel blog post
I've only seen her in Dexter & thought her acting was horrible & unbelievable. I was curious if anyone else thought she was a terrible actress & I found this blog. I also think she is very unattractive. I don't know why M.C. Hall left his wife for her???
This Julia Stiles prop was a black hole sucking the life out of what was until season 5 a dynamic show called Dexter. Most of season 5 ( I watch TV shows in blocks when I download them from piratebay) was a bore and this blame falls on her weak shoulders.
Reading this made me understand why your research paper grades suffer. It comes off as very whiny, with only commentary as support.
She ruined that season of Dexter when she was on it. She was horrible.
I dislike her because not only does she have that snotty attitude on camera, I think she does in real life! I once watched and hour long interview on Oprah with her and all of her female cast mates, which should have been a fun, girl-bonding time. No. She basically admitted that she is a no-fun, anal, stick-in-the-mud. She was rude to her other castmates and basically acted like they were stupid. Kirsten Dunst, who is sort of raw and flaky and fun, even rolled her eyes at her because she was making fun of Kirsten for being, you know, fun. Think: The girl in your middle school class who did nothing but study and wouldn't ever break any rules and always had her hand raised. That girl. Ugh.
I agree with you word for word! Her lack of talent coupled with her ugliness irritates me. I have been avoiding her movies as much as possible but happened to watch Save the last Dance because we were watching as a group and I was wondering how she even got the role. The girl can't dance. And the girl can't act. I can't understand why she even gets any role for that matter. There is an expectation that the stars in the movies should be good looking. JS is absolutely not. We pay money to see the beauties on screen so why pay money to see someone who is not.
I don't envy actresses for being famous. Good for them. But like any other job - it has to be done right. You are forgetting that acting is a job. If you aren't good at your job you get fired. She is terrible. Also just as firemen have to be fit romantic comedy actresses have to be pretty. In my personal opinion Jukia Stiles is gross. Her face disturbs and make me want to wonky. I just cringe every time I see her. And I feel bad for guys that pretend to be in love with her because it seems like they have to fake it hard.
I just couldn't agree more. I think she is an absolutely terrible actress. To me her ugliness is amplified by her hideously boring and slightly angry personality. Watching her in a movie makes me feel depressed about life because she just has such an awfully negative vibe going on.
I just couldn't agree more. I think she is an absolutely terrible actress. To me her ugliness is amplified by her hideously boring and slightly angry personality. Watching her in a movie makes me feel depressed about life because she just has such an awfully negative vibe going on.
I came across this blog searching on the question of whether Julia Stiles is a lesbian. Seems the jury is still out on that one. I think she's an okay actress, but the comments here are persuasive as to why she is not an especially good one. Neither is Jodie Foster, though, and she won a Best Actress oscar. Foster has noticeably less sexual chemistry with male leads than Stiles -- than anyone, actually -- but they do share the same, complete, total, absolute and off-putting lack of a sense of humor. Foster has picked her roles more carefully, though, so that these negatives have not been so harmful to her career.
I must confess that I had no trouble seeing why the Prince of Denmark would have fallen for her because, watching that movie, I did too. Regarding the Bourne series, her role was so gratuitous and inconsequential that I attribute her participation in them to her having, presumably, a lousy agent.
As for Stiles' sex appeal, I would, as the saying goes, crawl naked over a mile of broken glass just to sniff her armpit or have her pee on my toothbrush. Her high intelligence shows in her eyes and face, and that is something I find very sexy. Some others in the same category: Helen Hunt, Tuesday Weld and Emily Watson. But even without her intelligent looks, I find Stiles attractive, if in an unconventional way. She has beautiful skin, beautiful eyes, perky little tits and a round, flat face that any of us might find attractive in an Eskimo. Finally, I am a leg man -- Mira Sorvino-Mila Kunis-Fergie-Kimberly Williams kinda legs -- and that, evidently, turns out to be somewhat problematical. Stiles' legs are seldom featured in the films she has made, and so I had to do a Google image search to see what you guys were talking about. Her legs are admittedly not in the same league with those of the ladies on my short list, but she does have a pretty cute ass, and in a short black skirt, her legs pass a key test -- namely, is my imagination drawn to their point of intersection; and, furthermore, would I plant my nose in that point of intersection. Without apologies I will tell you that the answer is "yes."
I ugly about your comments on her looks.
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Yes!!i despise her. Her face is harder to look at than a dead puppy!
I watched STLD because my wife loves romantic movies. I don't watch movies anymore because of the garbage that runs that business, but I love my wife. So, we sat down to watch.
At no time was the story believable. JS was awful, not particularly talented, not inspring, nothing. They could have gotten 1,000 women to fulfill the role. I told my wife I had to use the restroom and never came back. JS musta sold her soul because it makes no sense why she's getting paid to do this..
You must be her publicist because only a paid troll would print such nonsense...
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