10 Things I Hate About Julia Stiles

In an attempt to procrastinate a 12-page research paper that is due tomorrow, I have been inspired to write a new blog (Seeing as I have already shopped for digital cameras on overstock.com, IMed, checked my email, eaten an oreo and located my lost phone under a pile of clothes in my bedroom). Throughout my entire education I have detested writing research papers. It takes me forever. Its not the research that I hate, its the writing. I hate describing music with words. Its so annoying. I really suck at it. In fact I think I have only received one A on a paper in all my years of higher education, and it was really a gift from God not because of any skill on my behalf. Perhaps my teachers were feeling sorry for me at that point, I really don't know...
As much as I hate research papers, there is something I hate much much much more...or should I say someone...
Her name... I hate to even type it because an ugly scowl as come across my face and I'm sure I look very mean right now...
is Julia Stiles.
bleh.
double bleh
bleh with a little bleh on the side and then some bleh for dessert.
WHY IS SHE FAMOUS???!!!!

Here is a small list of reasons why I think Julia Stiles should not be famous:

1)The one that comes searing into my mind with bells and whistles attached is "SHE CAN'T ACT!!!" If anyone has ever seen her movies they will agree with me that she plays the same blah character in every movie despite her different roles. She is always this bratty white girl with a too-cool-for school attitude even if her character is not supposed to be that way.

2)She has no charisma. She is so blah on screen, she bores me. Even in romantic comedies where she is supposed to be charming in some way, so a hot guy will fall for her, she is totally unbelievable. I am always embarrassed for the guy that has to pretend to like her in some way because she is totally unlikable.

3)She can't dance. Anyone who has seen Save the Last Dance can agree with me. She all of a sudden can sway back in forth to a hip hop beat and now she is an honorary black girl in the hood and can get into Julliard? Totally unbelievable. P.S. she has buffalo legs. I almost threw up every time they zoomed in on her feet dancing. (For a real dance movie please watch Centerstage. Despite the poor acting, these people can actually dance and Charlie is a adorable)

4)I'm not done with the bad dancing comment. The other day I rented the Prince and Me (I think I was feeling a little self-masocistic or something). There is a scene in which Julia is cleaning up the restaurant where she and the prince of Denmark work and she takes off her shoes (Buffalo Legs Part 2: again the vomit was close) and is dancing along to some song while she cleans. Said Prince is watching and somehow despite B.L. and horrendous dancing falls inlove with her and takes her back to be queen of Denmark. Not only do I feel bad for the kind people of Denmark, but for myself that I have wasted precious time (time that should be used to write research papers) watching the disaster of Julia Stiles dancing with her eyes closed.

5)The Bourne Identity. Why is she in this movie? The only reason my eyes should ever be ripped away from Matt Damon is for treats or other attractive men, not J.S. looking very dowdy and uttering meaningless lines in a blah manner.

6)I hate to say it but...she is super unattractive. I know that this is a low blow, but she has a super round head, flat face and we are all thinking it...the weirdest smile know to man. It is all lopsided and squinty. She does have a hot body, I will give her that...

7)Did I mention Save the Last Dance?

8)Her voice is slightly lesbian-ish. No offense to lesbians, in fact I'm sorry that they have to be associated with Julia Styles in any way.

9)She is coming out with a new movie called Carolina where she plays a character named Carolina. Up until this point my sister, who shares a similar hatred for J.S.(her hatred is not as intense as mine because she is nicer than me), wanted to name one of her daughters Carolina, but now will be forced to abandon the cute name. It will always be tainted now. Thanks a lot Julia!

I hope that in some small way I have hurt the career of Julia Stiles, or at least shed some negative light on it. If I have done even a small bit of bad than my work here is done. I fear however that my work on my research paper is just beginning...maybe I will go eat another oreo...mmmm.